It is tempting, and quite easy, to build up anticipation around your birth creating hopes and dreams about how the big event will pan out. How you will "be" during labor, your ability to cope with what comes, and how particular phases of labor will unfold. Sometimes making a very detailed and specific birth plan can create this sort of tunnel vision that blinds our peripheral of what unexpected events may occur. Meanwhile there are stacks and piles of books circulating, some very well intentioned, that you can easily hook your hopes to as to what your labor will look like. Sometimes we adopt the idea so firmly that we are going to have a _______ kind of birth, and it is going to happen like _______ this, because I'll be having this mindset or that breathing technique or visualizing this certain image. Well, I'm here to offer a different kind of "birth preparation"... What would it feel like to just sit with that unknown for sometime and just settle into how that feels, holding the weight of your round belly and feeling that life inside of you, knowing that you two are going to make a big journey TOGETHER very soon? When things shift one way or another in labor it is like a dance between your and baby's needs. Yes, I've sat with that feeling, and it is unsettling at times. It is also exciting because it is beyond anything we could ever know. I've had the honor of sitting with a lot of women while they give birth and being able to observe their process of surrender, opening, and giving birth to a new life. It isn't always easy, it is sometimes what we didn't expect or plan for. But one of the exceptional strengths I have learned from women is the power to remain FLEXIBLE and the tools that gives us to ADAPT. I respect the process of disappointment when the labor/birth vision you held close to your heart didn't continue down the path you planned. I'm sorry for that loss. I invite you prenatally to sit with finding that person inside of yourself that you can connect to when the moment comes. Yes, you may have stellar support or no support outside yourself during labor, but the truth is that we really can be the best and the worst to ourselves. We can be the biggest bullies to ourselves as well as the biggest forms of love and inspiration. So I invite you to find that part of yourself, maybe that part that gives you a little "pep" talk once in a while. The one that you may talk to under your breath. And bring that with you to labor, get to know her before this big day arrives. If I've lost you and you have no idea what I'm talking about, hang in there, hopefully I'll clear it up now. You have the power to adopt beliefs, emotions, and perceptions about birth. Self-love can always come around. If you feel like you've lost that connection to hope at any point during labor, maybe you've reached a new height and things feel harder than ever before and you're finding it hard to believe in yourself know that you can just try again next contraction, and the one after that and then again! We have a lot of chances to re-do in labor, a lot of contractions that build and give us another opportunity to open and surrender as our labor progresses closer to the birth of your baby! Whether medicated or unmedicated, vaginal, instrumental, or cesarean delivery remember, your (& baby's) birth is special and your (& baby's) birth matters. Ideas:
Like all things birth if this idea doesn't serve you, you can just let it go! If it does, take a piece with you on your journey! With Love & Welcome Home Little One, Cara Le Ann
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AuthorCara Sether, a birth enthusiast, mother, and doula, committed to supporting families through their childbearing years. ArchivesCategories |